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Writer's pictureChan Roberts

Singular They is Really Okay

So, there’s this sort of new phenomenon among the Zygotes (Generation Z), mainly in the US, about gender-neutral third-person pronouns. I mentioned it a little in an article titled Stop Changing My Language for Your Feelings! that I’ve published here and in a Mensa publication I occasionally write for. Anyway, some Zygotes - and some Millennials (Generation Y) as well - talk about having “preferred pronouns” that they are trying to force other people to use when talking about them. Frankly, the notion really pisses me off because compelled speech has no place in a free society (and, yes, it really is about compelled speech, despite all the silly claims about wanting people to show respect for their feelings related to their “gender identity”). One of those “preferred pronouns” is one that has existed in English for more than 600 years (so, no, you silly Zygotes, it isn’t new) and it is about that pronoun that I’ve written this article; the pronoun is often called “singular they”.


Singular they, as I said earlier, has existed in English for more than 600 years. According to Oxford English Dictionary, the first written use dates back to 1375 in a romance titled William and the Werewolf. It wasn’t until the 18th century that self-styled “grammarians”, a woman named Ann Fisher among them, began to dictate that one must not use singular they because the supposedly plural pronoun can’t take a singular antecedent (well, they is both singular and plural; so, piss off). Ann Fisher, in particular, insisted that the third-person masculine pronoun “he” must be used (and, by extension, him and his). So, the use of singular they and the resulting controversy isn’t new.


While I would consider myself a grammar prescriptivist who believes descriptivism is linguistic anarchy, I look back at some of the long-standing “rules” of English and shake my head in disbelief. For example, there was no legitimate reason to impose Latin grammar rules on English (I don’t care that a bunch of snooty rich people in England thought English was a “vulgar” and uncivilized language); so, I tell my students that any “rules” in English that are based on Latin grammar should be ignored (such as not ending sentences with a preposition). Likewise, I find the 18th century arguments against using singular they unconvincing - particularly since the second-person pronoun “you” was once exclusively plural but has become both singular and plural. Further, some regions in the United States of America have long-compensated for you becoming both singular and plural as they came up with various plural forms - youse (mainly northeastern US), yinz (mainly Pittsburgh) and y’all (mainly Appalachia and other parts of the southeastern US). Languages evolve (or, perhaps, devolve); my concern as a prescriptivist is how that evolution takes place - I think there needs to be some control over the process.


Anyway, back to singular they. A lot of people - including many who decry its use - use singular they without even realizing it, as discussed in an NPR opinion piece from 2016 (https://www.npr.org/2016/01/13/462906419/everyone-uses-singular-they-whether-they-realize-it-or-not). So, maybe it isn’t the evil spawn of Satan that some self-styled 18th century “grammarians” seem to have thought it was. Besides, using masculine third-person pronouns for everyone was just a really bad idea that reeks of sexism! So, sorry, I refuse to be party to something that never should have been allowed to happen (the use of masculine third-person pronouns as “universal” third-person pronouns): it’s time to bring back singular they.


But when should we use singular they? Well, quite simply, whenever we don’t know or (as is almost always the case) don’t care about the sex/gender of the third-person subject or object. This was how I explained it to my high school students here in Honduras. However, keep in mind that they, in both the singular and plural, take are and were just like we and you - so, it’s we/you/they are/were, not we/you/they is/was. It really isn’t hard to use singular they and, very likely, you’ve already been using it without even realizing it.


Something else I want to make clear: Millennials and Zygotes talk about how they “use” their “preferred pronouns”; but they are simply wrong! People do not “use” third-person pronouns for themselves. They’re third-person pronouns: they’re used by first person when talking to second person about third person - for example, when I’m talking to you about them. So, all this talk about using third-person pronouns for yourself needs to stop because English just doesn’t work that way. If you want to, politely, request that others use specific third-person pronouns when talking about you to someone else, fine; but understand that they are under no obligation to comply with your request and you have no right to demand compliance.


So, singular they is not something new that the Zygotes came up with. It’s been part of English for more than 600 years. It’s perfectly appropriate to use when the sex/gender of the subject or object is unknown or - as is almost always the case - irrelevant. Some ideas just should never have been allowed in English, such as imposing Latin grammar rules or replacing singular they with masculine third-person pronouns! Singular they really is okay.

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